Here I am again.

Too anxious lately to even publish these posts, but at least I'm writing them.

The new struggle for me is that sometimes I wake up and if there is something I've deemed something to be anxious about, I start getting anxious. And don't stop.  But I'm working on it.

This morning I started stressing and actually managed to stop and I think even fall back asleep for a while. Then I started all over again. WHY!!!

I was thinking a lot about Munchausen syndrome.  I was thinking about how I must get something pretty significant out of being anxious, or I would have let it go long ago.  I guess I still need to be sick. I wonder if one can get better from it. ....That's silly. I already have gotten much better. I hardly ever fake anything, and I enjoy getting attention from being sick way less.

I guess I mean can someone like me. Someone who has been that sick. Can I ever be truly rid of it? I mean it's not as though everyday I will long for it, like an alcoholic.