November 3rd, 2014
So I have been dating this guy. Just coffee dates. I haven't really had time to go out lately on proper dates. We have had quite a few phone conversations though. I mean, two + hours of side splitting, snort inducing conversations. Just complete smart asses from the get go. I met him on the dating site that I went on thinking that it was just to boost my ego and help my get over my boyfriend, but really I was hoping to stop feeling empty. (obviously that is going to have to come from within.)
I told this guy about the asthma and MS (didn't mention any of my other diseases, but vaguely mentioned other problems), and he had a pretty normal response. Curious and wanting to know what it looks like, and I admit, I down played it.
After the second coffee date he said something like "let's do something this week". I felt a big hesitation with myself. Later that night I really started thinking about it. What am I doing to this guy? He doesn't have a clue what he is getting into! I mean, he has this totally normal life, where he has dinner with his sister and her family on Sunday nights, and carves pumpkins with his kids, and has successful business. He has a supportive ex wife that allows him to have time to date. Do I deserve happiness? Yes. Does he deserve the party that comes with me? I don't think so.
So this afternoon at coffee, (which I think he scheduled right after work so I could see him dressed up! How cute is that!?) I laid it on the line. This is the shit that comes with me. Yep. That should do it for him. I think I'll go off and read a Nora Roberts book where someone doesn't think that they ever will be able to make a relationship work, but meet someone, and no matter how much they fight it, they fall in love and live happily ever after.