I wonder how many blog entries start with the vow to start posting more?
I did the Oprah/Deepak 21 day meditation challenge. One day while I was pretty deep in meditation the thought came to me that I should be writing about dating/being a single Mom with health issues. I've thought about it a bunch of times in the last couple of weeks, but didn't finally get my butt in gear until today.
I'm just coming off a relapse. I found myself thinking about how I haven't been taking any meds for my MS because I only have a relapse about every 3-4 months. So it's easier to deal with the actual relapses than the side-effects from the medications. Then I realized that considering that my relapses last 3-4 weeks, that about a 1/3 of a year I'm sick!!! YIKES!!
The very long summer is finally over, kids are back in school, broke up with boyfriend I've been on-again-off-again with for 8 months, and I've got a couple of months until the next relapse, so time to get back to work (and by work I mean working on being healthy)! Ok, pause! I'm assuming that I am going to keep having relapses every 3 months!!! That's so negative! I don't know that! How much is my wanting to stay an invalid behind that! I must not believe that! I can choose to stop waiting for one to pounce. I will be positive and take positive steps to stay healthy! And use less exclamation marks!!! Which brings me back to my point....
I decided to go back to MS doctor, especially since I know old cranky one has retired and new fresh one has started. Love him!! He said something to the effect that "if you say you see peanut butter and jelly sandwiches floating through the air after you tried a drug, I have to believe you! It's your body." Awesome! Of course I pointed out that I hoped he would refer me to a psychiatrist if that was the case, but still! He talked me into trying Copaxone. Apparently side effects are mainly about the injection sites!! It somehow convinces the MS to eat it instead of the myelin (lining on your brain). So, here we go again. Sigh. And he wants me to have another MRI. Sigh.
I also am keen to get back on my New Year's Resolution to get my body strong enough that when I get sick I can rebound faster. I'm thinking gym now. Especially since I'm single again. SIGH.
Another thing that I'm working on is getting back out there, job wise. I am making a little money as a seamstress, but it isn't enough. Financially or mentally. I have aspired to volunteer at the MS centre. And to work at the yoga studio's will work for yoga program. Hopefully I can start working enough there to get in at least a class a week.
I went to a MS support group again today for the first time in years. I actually really enjoyed it! People were positive and really looking to engage instead of complain. I mean, yes, talk about your problems and how you are coping, but let's not dwell on how hard it is! One of the reasons I went is because I would love to work there somehow. Even just volunteering. I was so surprised to see it is next door to the tower where I used to work that I loved!!
I'm so happy to be getting busy again. I'm still struggling with fatigue. My daughter has a cold, and I think I might be fighting one. I will not give up on my goals though!! I have to find a way to get this house back to shape after being so tired for weeks. And yes, I have to admit a week of letting myself wallow about boyfriend. Time to get going, Jezz!!
Maybe next time I'll write about the joys of trying to meet somebody when you have invisible illnesses!!