Thursday, 5 January 2012

I may never stop talking

I am sorry to start a blog with the reason I am blogging, but where else would I start?  My two kids are a'bed.  My Havanese, Charlie is busy making a bed/nest out of the dirty laundry on the floor at my feet, and here I sit, on my laptop.  The dishwasher is running though!  My New Year's Resolution for January (I tend to make one per month, usually until about June) is to not go to bed without cleaning the kitchen.  I have a aching headache (not a pounding headache, or a blinding headache), so I justified not getting it completely perfect by deciding that my daughter, will have to clean up her Easy Bake Oven dishes herself.

I have had a pretty miserable day.  I let my kids stay home until recess because I could barely get out of bed, and regardless of the two alarm clocks that were going off, neither child moved.  Then I went back to bed until 2pm, where I got up, found my legs, made a shake, and barely had enough time to get dressed in time for school pick up.  Sigh.  Then I finally started up the Easy Bake Oven I had been promising (of which Charlie had the first batch while we were out), despite the fact that most of my left side has either pins and needles, and/or numbness.  We had fast food for dinner, and I left my son  to babysit while I went out to pick up my pre-surgery antibiotics.  Then I struggled through homework and showers, and finally sat-no wait-you have to clean the kitchen-down.  Oops.  Haven't made the lunches.

I have MS, since August 2011 (at least diagnosed then).
I have Asthma, which I have been hospitalized for many, many times, and allergic to pretty much everything.
I have Scoliosis, which is fairly mild, but I have to keep on or I get headaches (see above)
I have Endometriosis that doesn't really bother me since I got my Mirena IUD and quit getting my period!
I have Lichens Sclerosis, a skin disease.
I have Nasal Polyps.  I have had 3 surgeries for this in the last 7 years, and number 4 next week.

My psychiatrist thinks I am addicted to being ill.  I think there may be some truth to that.  Did I learn that the only way to get love and significance was to be sick?  Maybe.  Can I somehow funnel all my mental powers, and through way too much therapy somehow stop being sick through mental health?  Doubtful.  Is there truth to both of these statements.  Yes.

I like this.  It is like I get to go on and on about myself, and I don't have to worry if I am boring anyone.  I don't plan on really announcing this blog to anyone.  Maybe a few close friends and family, but really it is for myself!

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